


When I dream he followed me

by nattiecake08



Category: Grantchester (TV)
Genre: Angst, Child Death, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Past Child Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-29
Updated: 2020-04-29
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:22:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,419
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23918236
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nattiecake08/pseuds/nattiecake08
Summary: Leonard has a nightmare and Daniel looks after him.
Relationships: Leonard Finch/Daniel Marlowe
Comments: 2
Kudos: 16





	When I dream he followed me

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Leonard's Angels](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Leonard%27s+Angels).



> I haven’t abandoned my multi-chapter, but couldn’t get this idea out of my head. 
> 
> Trigger warnings in the tags. 
> 
> The title for this fic comes from the hauntingly beautiful The Quickening by the insanely talented Alison Sudol; it is just so evocative and the lyrics are a stunning representation of Len and Dan’s relationship. Link here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PcBjZDLbOxs. 
> 
> This is dedicated to Leonard’s Angels, you know who you are <3

_“You clumsy little shit!”_

_The menacing glint of a belt buckle, the stale stench of beer and cigars on his father’s breath, hateful eyes boring into him._

Daniel blinked into the darkness of his bedroom. Another whimper came from the form next to him as Leonard fought furiously against the blankets.

“Wake up sweetheart,” Daniel murmured, shaking Leonard’s shoulders gently.

Leonard’s eyes shot open with a strangled cry.

“Len, it’s me darling,” Daniel said, hand guiding Leonard’s cheek to look at him in the faint moonlight. When Leonard recognized the concerned face in front of his, he scooted desperately into the waiting arms, fingers clinging to Daniel’s nightshirt as he sniffled softly. “It was just a dream, you’re safe now,” Daniel soothed, brushing Leonard’s damp hair back from his forehead.

He reached to switch on the bedside lamp, then began rubbing steady circles into Leonard’s back, coaxing the story out of him. 

“Dad”, Leonard whispered, and not for the first time Daniel wished he could strangle the bastard. Instead, he settles for kissing away a stray tear tracking down his lover’s flushed cheek.

“He was beating me… I – I thought he was going to kill me,” Leonard choked, fingers toying with Daniel’s collar.

“Did it really happen?” Daniel asked with dread, and felt Leonard nodding into his chest.

“I shouldn’t complain really…” Leonard began.

“What?!” Daniel said in disbelief.

“No, I just mean that many had it worse,” Leonard sighed. “He didn’t attack me without reason – most of the time,” he swallowed uncomfortably. “He didn’t neglect me…”

“Are you kidding? We both know that’s not true,” Daniel scowled.

“Well, like most children of our generation, I got smacked for being naughty,” Leonard said.

“I can’t imagine you were anything but a dutiful child,” Daniel smirked, tapping Leonard’s nose playfully and earning a half-smile.

“That’s why he didn’t raise his hand that often. But after mum died…” Leonard gulped a breath. “One night he came back from the pub, stinking of booze. Lord, I hated that smell. I was washing up, and I broke one of his glass beer mugs. The look in his eyes – I don’t think I’d ever seen it before. I’ll never forget it,” he whispered. “He used his belt that night. I couldn’t sit for a week,”

“My poor angel,” Daniel murmured, blinking back his own tears and holding Leonard tightly to him, as if he could protect him from everything wicked in the world. _He’d try his bloody damnedest._

“He was so sorry the next morning,” Leonard continued. “It was one of the only times he ever said it.”

“But I still don’t feel like a victim, compared to what other children go through. When I was doing my ordination, we had a little girl in our parish in Derbyshire, Mariella. She was a gorgeous little thing, tiny, with big green eyes peering up owlishly at you,” he smiled sadly as Daniel traced a finger along his collarbone.

“Her long curls were always unkempt, tattered dresses, dirty knees. One day I saw cigarette burns on her arm. I tried to raise it with my priest. He said social services were dealing with the family. I got the impression that it was all lost in bureaucracy.” He shook his head in frustration. “She would cling so tightly to my hand when we took the children on nature walks. The last Sunday I saw her, I brought her a pink iced fairy cake. The sweet thing looked at it like it was a diamond ring.

“She wasn’t there the following Sunday. Her mother’s boyfriend had thrown her down the stairs. Her neck snapped and she was pronounced dead at hospital. They said she fell, but she didn’t. I left town before the court case ended. But the outcome doesn’t matter. Everyone failed that child.”

“Poor baby,” Daniel winced, squeezing Leonard’s hand.

“That convinced me that this was my calling; if I could help another child. I owe it to Mariella and myself as a boy.” Leonard said.

“That’s why I love you,” Daniel said.

“Dad was nothing like that…” Leonard started.

“Leonard, he abused you physically, neglected you emotionally,” Daniel trailed off in vain as Leonard squeezed his eyes shut. “Can I get you a cup of tea?” he tried instead.

“Mum always made me hot chocolate after a nightmare,” Leonard mumbled almost inaudibly, face still pressed into Daniel’s side.

“You wash your face and I’ll be right back,” Daniel said, making to get up.

“Can – can I come with you? I’d always sit on the kitchen counter and watch mum prepare it,” Leonard smiled timidly.

“Of course. Anything you want, mignonette,” Daniel grinned fondly, cupping Leonard’s cheeks in both his hands and kissing him tenderly on the lips. Leonard placed a hand on Daniel’s thigh as he deepened the kiss, dissolving into the taste of his lover, sweet and sour all at once. Leonard stroked his tongue against those perfect tingling lips that were _his._

Daniel helped Leonard untangle himself from the covers, and lead him downstairs, Leonard clinging closely to Daniel’s hand.

He leant against the door frame, comforted by the sight of his boyfriend pottering around the dimly lit kitchen, absentmindedly humming to himself.

“Some of my best memories are watching mum baking in the kitchen. I suppose that’s why I still like watching Mrs C. do it,” Leonard admitted.

“Me too,” Daniel smiled over his shoulder as he began heating the saucepan of milk. “I wish I could’ve met her.”

“She would’ve liked you,” Leonard nodded, “a proper gentleman.”

“You know my mum would adopt you if she could,” Daniel laughed.

“Well, I am her Christian bubbala,” Leonard chuckled. “They would’ve made firm friends,” he smiled sadly.

“Thank you,” he said after a companionable pause, stifling a yawn.

“For what?” Daniel asked, pouring the hot chocolate into Leonard’s favourite mug. It was one with blue hyacinths on that Daniel had given him near the start of their relationship, so Leonard would have his own whenever he came round for tea. 

“For taking care of me. I know I can be hard work,” Leonard murmured, eyes on his slippers.

“Well, it’s a good job I love you so much, then, isn’t it?” Daniel winked as he turned off the light and guided his sleepy boyfriend up the stairs.

Daniel held open the bedcovers and Leonard gratefully slipped in next to him, tucking himself under Daniel’s waiting arm.

“Read to me?” he asked, reaching for a weathered book on the nightstand.

“What are we reading tonight?” Daniel smiled, swapping the book for the mug.

“ _Pride and Prejudice_ ,” Leonard muttered guiltily. “I know it’s a bit… feminine… but I find Austen so reassuring,” he said, sipping his hot chocolate carefully.

“I love this one,” Daniel reassured him, finding his bookmarked place. “Comfortable?” he asked.

Leonard nodded with a heartfelt, “I love you,” and Daniel beamed, kissing his temple.

“ _Chapter 41. The first week of their return was soon gone. The second began. It was the last of the regiment’s stay in Meryton, and all the young ladies in the neighbourhood were drooping apace…”_

Leonard smiled and closed his eyes, relishing the warmth of the chest beneath his cheek. He breathed in the familiar, comforting scent of _Daniel_ ; lavender bath oil (the dear kind from Sayle’s), A Gentleman’s Cologne (Leonard had gifted him that for Christmas), and something that was inexplicably _him,_ that smelled of love and safety and _home._

 _“If one could but go to Brighton!” observed Mrs. Bennet.”_ Daniel continued and both men snickered, thinking back to their latest trip at the end of August and _that_ sweltering night spent at The 42 Club.

Daniel read steadily, and Leonard was soothed by the rumblings of the melodic voice reverberating in his ear and the warmth of the sweet liquid.

 _“Do not make yourself uneasy, my love. Wherever you and Jane are known you must be respected and valued…”_ Daniel paused. Leonard’s breathing had slowed, and he peered over the book to find his beloved fast asleep, lips parted slightly and smudged with chocolate.

He gently retrieved the mug from Leonard’s hand and marked his place in the book. He eased him back onto his pillow and leant back, propped up on an elbow, watching Leonard sleep peacefully. There was a faint hint of a smile on his lips, eyes crinkled slightly.

Daniel turned off the bedside lamp and settled down to sleep. He had been able to put that smile there, and that meant everything.

**Author's Note:**

> Quotes from Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen 
> 
> Mignonette is a French term of endearment meaning ‘my little darling/favourite’. It is used by one of my OTPs, Monchevy in Versailles. I imagine Leonard picked it up in some book and both took to using it for the other in tender moments.
> 
> Daniel’s mother is a great Jewish mama.
> 
> Robert Sayle was a department store in Cambridge that became the John Lewis in the Grand Arcade where I would procrastinate from studying…
> 
> A Gentleman's Cologne, was CHANEL’S first male fragrance, launched in 1955 and later rebranded as CHANEL Pour Monsieur.
> 
> The 42 Club was a gay club on Brighton’s sea-front in the 50s. 
> 
> Sorry, this turned out a little sadder than I first anticipated, but hopefully there was enough schmoop to make up for it!
> 
> Shall I write a fic about a trip to Brighton? 😉 
> 
> Lots of love in these crazy times <3 xoxox


End file.
